April.17

 Feeling like I need to write out all the things I'm grateful for.

- a heater in my office.

- a running vehicle that is working well.

-  beautiful home.

- healthy kids

- the fact that I dont fear for my safety or my families safety

- a free country to believe and do what I want

- a job that pays me well and that I have a lot of comforts with

- people that check in on me

- a husband that loves me

- an inner desire to always be and do better

- goals and things to look forward to

- Marco Polo and that I get to keep in touch with family and friends so much

- each of my kids, their interests, hobbies and personalities

- computers and technology

- the ability to pay my bills

- a mechanic that is honest and fixes our cars

- food in the fridge and in the pantry

- chickens to give us eggs

- a garden space to give us vegetables

- a printer so I can print things

- chatgpt

- shampoo and conditioner

-water bottle and drink mixes

- the way layton helps me walk when im in pain with my back and makes eggs for me

- the way Leah asks "are you ok?" when she can tell I'm sad or trying to hide tears

- the way Kasen will help me walk as well and also checks on me

- the way Layton always tries to be positive and do what is right

- the way Leah is herself and doesn't hide her personality

- the way Kasen flexes alllll the time to show off his muscles 

- that I woke up breathing and feeling pretty good

-the sunrise and sunsets

- the moisture we got from the snow

- good books to read

- a church and gospel I believe in

- my Savior Jesus Christ

- sunflowers

- the color yellow

- calendars

- watches

Also, we have snow hahaha of course. Cause it's track meet day and April. lol. More snow than we have had all winter.

April.16

Last night was Leah's Hope of America performance and it was really good. It's an amazing program.  Layton also ran the 800m at the Blackfoot meet and he did really good. He had a wonderful run. Tied exactly for 2nd. He really did his best and pushed hard and left it all out on the track. Super proud of him.

Today work has been slow. But last night and this morning my back was so so so bad. Like could barely walk again. SUPER frustrating. I ended up scheduling a PT appointment, because holy Hannah I'm sick of dealing with this pain. It's so debilitating sometimes and I'm sooo done with the pain.

PT seemed to really help though, and I need to be consistent with the exercises that I need to do. 

April.3

 Today was Kyle's funeral, but I am going to make this post about the whole St George weekend.

We left on Wednesday evening after work and headed to Chad and Christine's house. We got there around 9 pm, so just had a quick little visit with them and went to bed. It was good to see them and catch up with them. 

Thursday morning we left there house at about 7:00 and headed down to St George. We got there about 10:00, and just spent the day with the family. Janae was there with her kids, tyanna got there early Thursday morning (after driving all night with Emil, Eva and Chandler), Ezra, Aaron and mom and dad were there. Teija got there later in the afternoon.

We swam, hung out, had lunch, went and visited the Gulbranson's at Mel and Kathi's. It was so good to see Kasey. We visited with Mel and Kathi, Kaelen, Korlyn, Garyn, Kasey etc. I just love that family and am so grateful for them. It was really really sad to mourn the loss of Kyle. He was such a great man and a great brother to all of them. I know they are grieving the loss so profoundly and feel his absence ever so largely. 

It was good to be with so much family.

The funeral was beautiful. It was a wonderful mix of laughs and tears, of sorrow and hope. Kyle was a great man and he will be greatly missed. His daughter Clara sang the most beautiful rendition of Amazing Grace that I have ever heard. It was the most powerful gut wrenching song. There was not a dry eye in the chapel. 

After the funeral we had the luncheon then had to head back to SLC. Tyanna, me Thomas and Leah and Ezra all headed to Aarons around 5. Ezra continued on and drove home to Rexburg. The rest of us stayed at Aaron's because Leah had her volleyball tournament the next morning early for the whole day. It was such an amazing fun tournament. They won the entire tournament and came in 1st place in the Gold cup. They played amazing and it was literally the funnest thing ever. I'm so glad that we got to be there and watch her. Leah did great. It was also so fun to have Tyanna there to watch Leah for the second half of the day. (she had gone to spend time with Miranda for the morning).

Mom, Dad and Janae showed up part way through the final. So it was fun to have them there as well.

I am grateful for my family and the opportunity to be all together. I am sad that it was for a funeral again. I am so sad for Kyle's sweet wife Mindy and his kids as well as the rest of the Gulbranson family. May God be with you till we meet again, Kyle. Love you. 

April.14

Today marks 17 years since I met Thomas. I'm so grateful I did. I love him so much.

Life lately.

My cousin Ben Gwilliam passed away by suicide in February. 

My cousin Kyle Gulbranson passed away at the end of March because of a cardiac event after playing a hockey game.

My aunt Carol Gwilliam (Ben's Mom) passed away, likely due to a cardiac event last week at the beginning of April.

Those three and then also losing my other cousin Jaram Arnold, has weighed so heavy on my heart. They will each by missed in their own ways and so much from their kids, siblings, parents and spouses.

I am grateful for each of them and the examples that they are and were to me. I have been feeling quite paranoid and stressed about death in general because of all of these events.

Layton is in the middle of track season. He has been nursing a hip injury so this season has been a little rough for him. He has felt a little discouraged at times, but he will get there. He seems to be feeling pretty good this week.

Kasen started a junk removal business with William and Branson. I love love love that they are doing this as it is a good way for them to stay busier and also earn some money. They have gotten jobs for my old company and for a neighbor and have made close to $700 in their first week of business. I am so proud of them for pursuing this. 

Leah is in the middle of Volleyball season. She is on a club travel team. Her team is really good and it is so much fun to watch her now. She is loving it and we are loving it for her and love watching her. She is just as social and fun as ever. My most favorite memory of her right now is... she wrote an essay for school and for her conclusion paragraph she wrote "Thanks for reading, bye!" That just shows her personality so much and makes me smile. 

Today was a pretty normal day. I picked up Leah from school at 2:30, got her home, took her to volleyball, went home, picked up layton from track, went home, picked up Leah from volleyball, went home, picked up layton to go to the gym, did the sauna and red light therapy, then took him to mutual, then went home. So lots of driving around, but I loved it because that means my kid are busy, and involved and all the things. 

I don't love the Sauna but I want to be a sauna person, so I very dramatically did it for 15 minutes (with 2 breathing breaks outside of it for like 30 seconds). haha. I would like to think that the sauna and red light therapy will help me sleep, help with inflammation and other things.

I ordered some make wellness products yesterday as well, and I am excited to get them. I really want to get feeling all around better and getting back to where I am able to get back to the gym. My back is flared up again and I have shooting paid down my leg, so that isn't fun and is very very discouraging.

Jan.30- Hawaii Day 6

This was our last day on the island. We packed up everything from the Airbnb and left around 10:00. We then headed into Honolulu and went to Pearl Harbor.  I don't really remember what else we did. I think we went to Sams club for lunch and dinner. We walked around. Stopped at a beach or two I think. Then just headed to the airport for our red eye flight. 

Jan.30- Hawaii Day 5

 Day 5 in Hawaii!

Hanauma bay day!!  This was probably Kasen's favorite day! He is an avid snorkeler. We all had a great day though. Thomas and I saw/swam with 2 sea turtles so that was really cool. Kasen saw and swam with one at one point. Thomas and Leah were out there a lot too and she loved snorkeling around. We sure love the water and the beach. It did end up getting a little cooler and rained a bit. Layton and I enjoyed chit chatting and just relaxing on the beach mostly.  

After Hanauma bay we did an epic hike. It was the kook crater hike. Only Thomas, Layton and I did it. The other two just stayed in the car. I think this was possibly the highlight of the week for me as I had never done it before. I just love having a physical challenge so much. I love working hard, the feeling of accomplishment and then the views. Granted, the views were not great because of all the fog, but it was still epic. It rained and was cooler outside, but honestly, it was perfect weather cause that hike is HARD. Over 1,000 steps of railway ties allllll the way up. It was so challenging, but I loved it. 

Jan.29 2026. Hawaii Day 4

Laie point was a huge hit. We love love loved it. We felt so lucky to be able to have our Airbnb just like 8 houses in from the point. Truly magical. We loved seeing turtles, and a seal and even a whale or two in the distance one time. There were tons of crabs and it's as adventurous for all of us.  

 

After spending the morning at the point we went to the PCC. Its as really fun. We loved the little performances and dances and got to do some fun activities, try some bites of some foods and enjoy the afternoon at the PCC.
 

After the PCC we went back to pounders beach and had a blast there again! Once again, we just love this beach and all the fun it provided of us. What a trip to remember!

Jan.28, 2026- Hawaii Day 3

 

The first thing we did on this day was go to the temple. The boys got to baptize for their first time in Hawaii. It was a really cool experience. Now they are priests they can baptize. Kasen baptized Layton first. Then Layton baptized Kasen. Then Layton baptized me. It was really great and I'm glad that we took the time to go to the temple. After the temple we went to the visitors center and that was great too. 

After the temple we went to pounders beach. This was one of our favorite spots because the waves were really fun to play in and it was really close to our Airbnb. It was so stinking fun to just be in the ocean and playing and getting hit by the waves over and over and over again. It was really special because this was the exact same beach that I played in with my family when we came to Oahu in 1999. I was 10 years old (the same age as Leah) so it was pretty cool watching the kids love and enjoy the exact same place and things I did as a kid too. Pounders beach is lots of fun. 

After pounders beach we had dinner and then we went to Sunset beach. Unfortunately, it was a bit cloudy so the sunset wasn't that great, but the waves were incredible and we got to watch some surfers. It was just so beautiful and literally one of my most favorite things in the entire world is just sitting in the sand and watching the waves. Just typing this is making me want to go back. 

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