Nov.10, 2024

Yesterday, was literally one of the most stressful days of my entire life. It was so so so hard. Like more stressful than building a house. More stressful than not having a place to live for a month. More stressful than moving 13 times. More stressful than college or tests or I don't know a lot of things.

Yesterday, I had to call Jace and let him know that I need to put in my notice. I am accepting another job. It was the hardest conversation I've ever had to do. He was of course nice, and kind and understanding. Which he always has been. I honestly don't have anything negative to say about working for Spring Creek. It's been such a blessing to me and our family. I've learned and grown so much. I have experienced so much patience, flexibility and generosity.  I truly have so much to be thankful for in my position there for 5 years.

It started off small. I worked just a few hours a week. We had maybe 100 units. We were small, we had a lot to figure out. I didn't really know anything and had lots of learning curves. We grew and grew. We took on a lot more properties. I evolved to take a ton of responsibility and I learned the ropes for everything. I started to really run the ins and outs and details and nuisances. I really hope that I made a positive difference and to be leaving on a good note.

My biggest fear in all of this, is I just really don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to leave anyone hanging. I don't want to be the source of stress or overwhelm for others. I hate that my leaving is going to cause such a huge hole and gap in Jace and Talia's company. I hate that I won't be able to help support Bryce like I have. I've developed such great relationships that  I hope last beyond a job change. I don't want my decision to make this change to ruin relationships. I know I can't have everything, but I hope I can keep the relationships and just leave on a positive note. I worry so so much that I'm ruining everything for Jace.

The biggest reason for this change is my desire to just try something new and different. Something that will challenge me, make me uncomfortable and make me get out of my norm. It does come with a pay increase which of course is going to be such a blessing, but I don't think of that as my main motivation. Although, I've loved my current job I just felt a bit bored. I know there are so much worse things to leave for, but is it wrong to leave a place even if nothing is wrong?

It feels a bit selfish honestly. :( I don't want to be selfish. But I have felt a lot of peace and excitement around the whole thing. It's been so so so hard though. Like I never thought it would be this hard.